Why I Hate My Mom January 31, 2009

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!

She is such a pain, I can’t stand her. She is always yelling at me and pointing out my faults.

One day, we were driving to church. I’m trying to listen to the music and every song she feels the need to give me a biography on the person who sings it. I REALLY don’t care and I HAVE told her that before. So she asks me if the topic is boring me and I told her yes. The she fucking goes beserk and almost crashed and started screaming at me:

“YOU ARE SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON AND YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO CHANGE!!!!”

A real smart thing to yell at your daughter, huh? I had cried all through Mass. And then she’s soooo full of bullshit she glazes over the whole story so it looks like I was being a smart ass.

Another time she was standing half-way up the staircase and wanted me to give her a piece of paper that i had, so i did. I tossed it half way down the stair like I usually do only she didn’t manage to catch it and it landed on her face. She starts fucking screaming at me again saying that I knew she was coming up the stairs when she wasn’t fucking moving.

I had to get therapy for my bipolar disorder because I had attempted suicide back in September. I really don’t like talking to people. My THERAPIST TOLD HER I don’t like to talk to people. My mom never shuts the fuck up around me. All she ever does is fucking bitch about the people she works with and then she tells the people we work with bullshit about me when she knows that pisses me off. 

More recently I was making this berry mix…only it exploded in the blender and got EVERYWHERE!!!! The walls, counter, coffee makers, and cabnets were all purple. I cleaned almost all of it up execpt of a few spots and I had to go to work so I wasn’t able to finish. When my mom picked me up from work, she started bitching me out about she’s not my made and I’m SOOO irresponsible because “everything was still covered with the berry mix.” She told me to clean it up today, and when I looked around the next morning, THERE WAS ALMOST NOTHING ON THE FUCKING WALLS IT WAS THE SAME WAY AS I LEFT IT!!!! A FEW PURPLE DOTS ON THE WALLS MAKES ME THE FUCKING IRRESPONSIBLE ONE IN THE FAMILY. 

To sum it all up, I hate her. She is a fucking bitch who doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut.

All I have to do is give a simple sigh, and that makes me a rude little self-centered bitch.

Old friends and new ones… August 21, 2008

Oh. My. Goodness.

So much has happened. To start with, I regained contact with Pony and Seal.

I have not talked to them in months, and I managed to find their number and decided to give them a call. At first no one had answered, so I left a message and as soon as I put it down it started ringing and when I picked it up Pony was half asleep. I was so happy to talk to her agiain.  So we talked and are trying to figure out a time to hang out because we both work a lot. We exchanged myspaces and talked about school for a second. I’m going into 11th and she is supposed to be in 12th…she’s in 9th…again.

A bit of epicness I cannot go into for specific reasons…

HELL HAS BROKEN LOOSE AND I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!

I say hell has broken loose because sometime before I told my friends the day I get a boyfriend will be the day hell breaks loose. And that’s how I told them I now have one…by saying hell has broken loose, hehehe. And as soon as I told Pony about it she woke up straight away. 

And finally I have made peace with the ex-Leprechaun. We’re not exactly friends, but hopefully we will be able to work up to that. Well, I’m happy as long as we can go to school together without any awkwardness and if the two of us went to school with him all pissed at me and we be in the same classes, then it would get awkward.

Christians on Youtube August 16, 2008

I am one of them. I go find videos I know that I will disagree with for the sole reason of getting into apologetics with the people. However I have come to a general conclusion of many Christain users of Youtube who do the same thing…

They have no clue what they are talking about, and it drive me insane.

How can I tell this? Well keep reading and find out.

I don’t take sides when I get into these kind of debates, I will not only argue with the athiest who posts the video, but the Christians who are so full of it.  For example, there was this one nameless person who went and posted that we are in end times and (s)he would not shut up about it. I threw one bible quote at him that said only the Father knows when the end is and this person shut up immediately.

There was also this other girl who really really really really really bothers me. She is the kind who goes and posts

“I KNOW GOD, I SEE GOD, I TALK TO GOD”

Since I used to be an athiest, I KNOW how ineffective this tactic is for non-religious types. And I felt it proper to point it out and try to help her with the argument. Saying something like that just leads to an “I do, I don’t” arguement that doesn’t solve anything.

Her response was that she knows that only a religious person can understand, and how she can understand that I don’t see God because I don’t know him and she told the athiest who posted it that he was going to hell. That crossed the line. And for telling him he’s going to hell I threw Mt. 7:1-2 at her and she shut up. And for what she had said about me I told her

“Okay. You don’t know me so don’t you go telling me whether I see God or not. I DO see God because I DO know Him and that He is always there for me. And if you already know that only a religious person can understand that arguement, why use it if you’re trying to be helpful?”

She hasn’t responded yet. And all those other Christian who post random data but can’t even site where it says this in the bible or what website or book they can get the statiscics from, they post in vain and they don’t seem to realize this. This upsets me because all it does is support the theory that Christians have no idea what they are talking about.  That girls also seems to believe she is going to heaven regardless so I’m not too sure how I’m going to handle her once she responds.  It’s as if these people have never even picked up a bible before I tell verses to them. It bugs me.

I am not saying EVERY Christian is like this, for I have come across a few capable of logical thought.

Stuebenville Catholic Youth Conference August 10, 2008

I know, my response is late.

Regardless it was AWESOME!!!

Well, getting up to Stuebenville was somewhat uneventful. We were on two short buses from Bishop Sullivan High School, and it took us a little over 10 hours to get up to Ohio. On my bus there were about 11 (including the driver) people, only 4 were awake with me (including the driver). So we played “Mr. Magoos Secret” and “The Alphebet Game”. Buddeee was playing with his camera and recording people when they decided to do things because he needs to make videos of what we do in youth group. Sleeping would not make a good video. But the majority of the people were asleep unless we stopped for food. I ened up stealing my friend Easter’s pillow and falling asleep for a while too. But when we got there we livened up a bit, well most of us did.

There was so much P&W I sang myself hoarse…well that and we were screaming chants at each other ^_-

Since there were a group of Canadians there most of the building was chanting USA, but we out numbered them so my group and the group infronf of us chanted for Canada. Then hwief (he who is extremely flexible) and I would randomly scream out “France!” And I would scream out “Germany!” Then we were also shouting out what states we were from cuz we came from all over the eastern half of the U.S.

Then the host climbed onto the stage and we started to sing “Trading My Sorrows” but we started singing in different languages. Angrisano (the host) was telling us as we sang the refrain:

“In Spanish, they sing Ci Senior, Ci Senior, Ci-Sen-ior AMEN…And in German they sing it Ja mein Herr, Ja mein Herr, Ja-mein-Herr, AMEN!…and in French…oh you have to be careful when you speak in French because if you don’t say it right they will look at you like you are a moron. Yes Lord in French is Oui Mon duer. and Amen is haha. So sing it now! Oui Mon duer, Oui Mon duer, Oui-Mon-duer, HAHA HAHA HAHA!”

It was the funniest thing ever. Then there were some really good talks going on, I went to the one about being a witness of G_d and responding to G_d’s call. Father Larry is hilarious. He loves calling people pagans. He gave the talk about responding to the call and talked about how he is a 48 year old virgin and how he had wanted to have ten kids but felt called to be a priest, and how the youth of his parish had given him a medallion that said…I forget what but it ended with

“From all 1000 of your children”

Then we had several other interesting talks as one large group and mass twice.

We also had adoration which was really cool, too. Some people started to burst out crying…I didn’t cuz I don’t cry in public and i didn’t feel anything. But hey, neither did Mother Teresa a lot of the time.

Another part that was a lot of fun…a group of the Canadians climbed onto the stage and there was a long line of Canadians doing the soldier boy XD

After Stuebenville about 7 of us went camping. That was fun too, I met a blind priest who can play piano really well. AND AND AND I made friends with Buddeee (who is my unofficial spiritual director and asures me that all guys are wusses).

An Epic conversation… August 10, 2008

One day I want to become a nun. My dad doesn’t like clergy people because…I really have no idea. But I was sitting in my room texting with Silber and suddenly my dad walks in.

Dad: “Your mothers gonna be back from work around 5 so be ready to leave for work when she gets back.”

Me: *looking at phone laying in bed* “Okaaaay”

Dad: “And i hear you want to become a nun?”

I look from my cell to my dad and it’s dead silence.  

Me: *voice raised preparing for an argument* “Yeah…so?”

Dad: “Are you still gonna be a teacher?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Dad: “A teacher nun?”

Me: “Yeah”

Dad: “With a ruler?”

Me: “Hopefully”

Dad: “well if you want to go for it.”

It was epic…

A New Friend August 10, 2008

I made a closer friend this summer. His name is Silber, and I’m not referring to bfobf (boy friend of my best friend). I met him last year on Gaia, and then at the beginning of the summer i added him to myspace and yesterday i got his cell phone and we talk a lot. We actually have a lot in common. We both get bipolar and start yelling and being mean to people and then go back the next day apologizing and we both have the same political views (GO VATICAN) and we are both German freaks and Catholic freaks. And he understands me far better than the incompetent ex-Leprechaun because he can relate to what I’m going through. Oddly enough, I’m not bipolar to him. Anyway he lives somewhere down in Georgia and is in love with his girlfriend. If I remember right he want’s to marry her…or maybe that was another pair of friends…ehh whatever.

Conflict with the Ex-Leprechaun August 10, 2008

I started talking to the ex-Leprechaun around the beginning of summer.  I actually asked him out and he though i was trying to get him to go to youth group! As soon as I managed to get my intentions into his head, he said no. I didn’t mind the answer, I know I wouldn’t work well in a relationship with anyone. So after he said no (and gave me a reason) i dropped it. It’s actually quite easy to tell when the poor boy is hiding things. He has a crush on someone else, haha. I’m not the jealous type, and I’m far more interested in religious life. But as it so happens my phone is on steroids and send messages to the wrong people, and he ended up getting a very personal message ment for my friend Cherry. So for about the whole summer I had spent random nights talking to him about it. But since I’m paranoid and occasionally bipolar I ocasionally started yelling at him and insulted him a lot. I usually apologized the next day. But then one night, well…last night…I was talking to Buddeee and he asked me why I find the ex-leprechaun so annoying. My phone sent him the reason, as well as a lot of the people including the ex-Leprechaun. He got mad and we argued and he said he was done putting up with me and we argued more and when i pointed out that me behavior doesn’t matter because he’s disowning me anyway his response was “I never owned you so there’s nothing to disown.” I’m still not entirely sure what he meant with that, because I was refering to him not putting up with me and i guess he was saying we were never friends to begin with. In the right context then that would have been a good attack, but in this case it was crap. I pointed it out and he didn’t answer me. But he gave up on me cuz i insult him so much, apparently. That doesn’t surprise me that much either cuz he never actually bothered to get to know me. I tried to be friendly, but he avoided me. Well I apologized again, but differently this time. I told him that i’m sorry that I’m the way i am, but he doesn’t want to be friends that’s up to him. I’m not gonna bother trying to befriend someone who obviously doesn’t want to be friends. So I removed him from my cell and myspace.

UGH SLOWNESS August 10, 2008

The first epic bit of my summer was I got a job =3 I am now a cook at Pizza Hut, and I actually enjoy it. There is this one girl there who drives me insane though. I shall call her Esgwam (Extremely slow girl who annoys me). SHE IS THE SLOWEST WORKER EVER!!!!!! Like the other day she’s answering telephones and I’m looking over her shoulder because i ended up comming in 30 minutes early. At the bottom of the screen on the computer it says select the adress, and at the top of the screen there is only one adress to click. She stands there CLICKING THE SELECT THE ADDRESS AREA. I had never even looked at the screen before, and I just reach over and press on the address (THE ONLY ONE THERE) and it magicaly works. Then she clicks something she wasn’t supposed to and it asks if she wants to cancel the order. She DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO SELECT! IT’S A YES OR NO QUESTION AND SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!! I look over at Oww (Over weight waitress) and giver her a “what the heck!?!” look. Sometimes I have to work with her on the make-table, that girl takes 10 minutes to make 2 pizzas when it should only take like 4. maswioti (my adopted son who is older than i), this new guys who helps out with everything at the moment, makes pizza’s faster than her and he just started making them!

Exaustion… June 5, 2008

ugh….I never want to open a history book again…in fact I would really like to burn that book.

I guess it’s my own fault for procrastinating, really. Yesterday, I spent more than four hours writing SEVEN ESSAYS FOR MY HISTORY CLASS!!!! That means so far I have eleven out of sixteen essays done. They are due today, but I don’t really have enough time now to write another one so I’m going to have to work on them up to fourth block during school. I went to bed around 10ish, and then I had to get up at 3:30 am to work on my creative writing project. You know what else? I really hate my computer because I was almost finished when the program decided to stop working and I lost half my work. Lovely, yes? But I managed to finish so TAKE THAT YOU PIECE OF CRAP COMPUTER!!!!!!

As for the rest of yesterday, not much really happened. My stupid older brother got mono, probobly from the school water fountains so I’m avoiding not only him, but the water fountains as well. Mainly because I do not want to have some major disease over my summer break, and in two weeks I’m going to Ohio for about a week for the Stubenville Catholic Youth Conference. Then next month I’m representing my youth group at the Delegetes Youth Conference in Lynchville.

Well, the first two weeks of summer I have where I’m not going on any trip, and my dad is on his tug boat I know exactly what I am going to do. Hybernate.  My mom will be at work and won’t care that I sleep in until five in the evening, my dad however will wake us up. Even if we don’t have ANYTHING to do that day, he’ll come barging into our rooms around 9 and yell at us to get up. It gets really annoying. 

For the rest of summer I’m going to try to focus on Jesus. My goals are to read the New Testament, and start reading a Catechism. I’m also going to try to focus more on learning French, which I probobly won’t manage to do, and then friends are in there, too. 

OH MY GOD!!!! I have a 91 in Earth Science! I realize that a B is not bad, but it’s SOOOOOOOOOOO close to an A!!! What pisses me off is even if I get a perfect score on the exam, it won’t be enough to boost my grade up enough to reach an A! This sucks. I think I have a B in Geometry as well, but I’m not sure how high. If I have an A, I’m happy. But if I have a high B or high C, I’ll go ahead and take the exam to get that higher letter so I need to talk to Ms. Creature today. I still don’t know if I have an exam for History.

Well, until later or tomorrow

Peace out!

Youth Group Members Departing, and A Silly Leprechaun. June 3, 2008

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

My youth group has this really crappy rule that says once you graduate from high school, you cannot return to youth group for an entire year! So now I won’t be able to see some of the awesomest people I know for a year at least, depending on if they decide to come back after a year.  

Now that the youth group family is shrinking by a few members, I have decided to convert a certain leprechaun. So, I’ve been bugging the leprechaun for the past two days to go to youth group on Sunday. As far as I can tell, I have made little progress. He said it seems too consuming, but I’ll keep trying! It was actually kind of weird in geometry today…At the beginning of the block I explained to him youth group is consuming to me because I get involved in all sorts of leadership stuff which causes church to become my second home. That’s not the weird part, though. I had just turned in a paper that I had to graph fishies all over and when I got back to my seat, I was staring at the clock because I read time slowly. Well, the Leprechaun sits right under the clock so being madly in love with him like I am naturally I  glance at him, but he is already staring at me with a smirk on his face and we made eye contact for a moment. Awkward… So I just turn back around and sit.

According to my one of my best friends, whom I shall call Cherry, there was one day where he kept staring at me… but I don’t know.